One tries to use iambic pentameter, the other tries to have more natural rhythm. But I'm not much of a lyricist, so I need your help. Please vote for your favorite. Contact info is below. Under "Contact."
Oh, feel free to send your own, as well. To Tina or whomever
Ode to Tina Fey No. 1
Tangle my thoughts in your tangly hair.
I can’t get you out; you’re a bellicose czar
Even your AMEX ads make me despair
That, poor, I have Visa and no bar fight scar.
Until just last year, I thought: Eh, well, she’s cute,
And sometimes she’s funny (when Fallon shuts up);
I bet she can out-sleep valerian root,
And I bet her fingers have nails that she cuts.
You rocked me with Thirty (well, after a few);
I grew to your writing and rhythm with scenes,
One thing: you could use more Britt words like “loo”
Oh, did I mention you’re hot in those jeans?
It’s so sad you’re married cause I can’t be three.
Not even like Stooges. Or Mexican cheese.
Ode to Tina Fey No. 2
My thoughts are lost in tangles of your hair;
Escape would be like to take shine from stars.
I see your AM-EX ads and I despair
That Visa is how I buy beers at bars.
Up till last year I thought you were so cute,
And often droll when Fallon’s lips would shut;
I dream you doze like a sweet herbal root;
I dream you smell of cupcakes free of smut.
Your Thirty rocked me and I fell for you;
Your skill was seen in beats and rhyme of scenes;
Your noble stand for voting rights for ewes
Was only match’ed by your curves in jeans.
It’s sad you’re married cause I can’t be three;
Not even if the third is Joe Pesci.
Photo: Bust Magazine.